And the winner is...

Elections are a carnival for jokes. And I as a first time voter, take it up as my moral responsibility to encourage our dear leaders who keep the humor alive within all of us. The result of which is a list of awards for all the jawans who continue to tirelessly entertain us, by looking absurd and silly, every single day.

"BJP is a truly secular party" - Advani

Did this saffron brigade leader hear what Varun had to say about Muslims? The frantic waving of hands and his claims of sending all Muslims to Pakistan, successfully earned him the 'Fanaticism bordering on the lines of insanity' award. And Advaniji fiercely defending the party ideologies and praising great leaders of the BJP, even when reporters pointedly questioned him on Varun’s speech wins the ‘Going temporarily deaf when (unmentionable body part) is on fire' award.

"Terrorism and religion conversion are two sides of a coin which will swallow our nation. The Hindus are now waking up against it'"-Pramod Muthalik

Yeah, his sevaks are busy bashing up women in the name of culture protection. Though I don’t see how he is planning on eradicating terrorism and religious conversions by declaring that women have no rights to their share of fun. So unquestionably the ‘I still live because it is illegal to shoot me’ award goes to him.

"In north India, the SP, the RJD and the LJP have dominated the secular space." -Mulayam Singh

These three parties are notorious for vote bank politics in UP and what we call communalism is their secularism. They win the 'Learn the meaning of English words first' award.

“We were defeated in 13 constituencies by design.” – The Ramdosses

This father-son duo largely made unpopular through the unceremonious sacking of the AIIMS head; usually say such incredible things when they feel largely ignored. Their hobbies include criticizing anything that the others (Read: Not PMK) do. And they clinch the ‘Desperate limelight hoggers’ award.

'There was a communication gap, that’s all' - Jayalalitha

Dropped out of a tea party hoisted by Mayawati, Jayalalitha dignifiedly fielded the media glare. Well, communication gaps happen all the time. That explains why the Left and the MDMK parties were missing during the tea party she threw a few days back. ‘I don’t like to be ignored' award goes to her for sure.

MDMK has been eerily silent this year after the embarrassing defection of a few prominent leaders to DMK. The party together wins the ‘We eat our own words’ title. (Another close contender for this award is TR Rajendher of LMDK. He also wins the ' Does anyone except me knows that my party exists? ‘award)

Of course the icing on the cake was Venkaih Naidu's speech that demanded the Prime Minister’s resignation on moral grounds as the UPA had been ‘deserted’ by its allies and the Congress had become a ‘loner’. Does he know there are elections coming up in a few days? He portrayed another streak of brilliance when he declared that Slumdog Millionaire won the Oscar because Congress had successfully kept poverty alive in India. He undoubtedly wins the ' I love making stupid statements’ title.

(Of course, this idea is not original and there are other people (with a superior sense of moral responsibility and brains) who have given out better awards. So suggestions, corrections and additions are always welcome).