Inked

Getting a tattoo is just like going through a breakup. It is messy, painful, you lose blood and some sleep, but it is totally worth it!

Stage 1: The act

The minute the needle starts piercing through your skin, and you lose the first drop of blood, you begin to think if it is worth it at all.  And this is when the tattoo artist starts looking like a dopehead who will not hesitate to plunge his needle right through your heart if you make even a slight whimper.

Scissorhands will scissor your hand right off

Stage 2: Denial

The morning after I got inked, I woke up to a plasma-oozing kitty cat that was now permanently etched on my skin. Permanently. No looking back. I flipped so much and so hard, and my screams rattled the neighbourhood. And then the denial began – Maybe the ink won’t stay. Maybe it will run out.  Maybe my hand will be good as new the day after. Right? RIGHT? No.

Stage 3: Anger

In exactly 48 hours, your beautiful tattoo starts looking like this:

The kitty-gets-dipped-in-slime tattoo

Yes. Scabs form, it becomes itchy, the skin feels tight, and you would do anything to get that goddamn heavy feeling off your heart (and your wrist, in this case). I also wanted to kill Mr.J, my genius friend and tattoo-partner-in-crime for talking me into this!

It did not help that a trip home was scheduled around the same time. If my mother’s glares could kill, all of you would have been sitting across the fire singing Kumbaya for my peaceful passing.

Stage 4: Guilt

So the tattoo is there but it still does not belong to you. After the scabs fall off, a thin transparent layer of skin forms over the tattoo. In tattoo-lang, it is called the onion skin. This does not fall off until the Halley's Comet zips past the sky five times. And then the introspection begins: So, why did I do this to myself? What went wrong? Was the tattoo an overcompensation for my other failures? Does the tattoo really look like a cat? What the hell was I thinking? Do I even like cats? 

Stage 5: Depression

The onion skin just does not fall off. The ink looks faded. Your friends still scoff. WebMD makes life tougher with all those graphic articles about how chemical tattoo dye infections can result in possible amputation. And your hand still needs baby oil every couple of hours, to not look like King Joffery at the Purple Wedding.

My wrist could die a hundred times like this, and my onion skin would still be there!

Okay!! Maybe not that bad. But waiting for this piece of skin to fall off has been the longest wait of my life.

Stage 6: Sweet, sweet freedom :)

And just like that, one day you wake up to this beautiful tattoo, shiny again, beaming at you. 

Inked!

And despite the melodramatic and symbolic crumbling of life that was supposed to be explained through this post, all you have got to remember is that - it always comes back together! And just like that :) 

Little deeds of joy, little deeds of kindness...

It is surprising how we turn to people we least expect to be there for us in times of angst and difficulty. In my case, it was my mother who was in town just at the right time. Be it sharing the little nuggets of wisdom she had accumulated over the years or just whiling away time painting each other’s toe nails, I realized that both of us as individuals were so different, but still had grown closer together. From the love-hate bond we had shared when I was younger, to the mutual respect and admiration we have now for each other, the relationship in itself had matured so much.

The early morning walks we took around the park were in absolute silence, but our minds couldn’t have been more in unison. One day, as we were walking around the park, a dog rushed at us, barking rapidly. I panicked and could feel my whole body stiffen in fear. Left to my own devices, I would have run helter-skelter to save my life. However, amma calmly held my hand and led me away from the barking dog, all the time, tightly gripping me and laughing about some joke she had heard the other day. After a few, very tense minutes, I looked her thankfully, and realized there were sweat beads glistening on her forehead too. In a moment of realization, I figured that she had been scared too, but, her motherly instincts made her protect me first and put her fear next. That incident taught me volumes about the love she had been so readily giving all these years, expecting almost absolutely nothing in return. It also taught me why her judgments had never gone wrong all these years - she had a calmness that never seemed to go away, even during trying times.

Another day, we were at the mall buying clothes, when she spotted an ice gola stand. The smile on her face widened, she made a beeline to the stall, and ordered the most complicated mix of ice gola. Even though she had become old, the child in her refused to die. Her love for things that were small and simple, was something I had also imbibed. It did not take too much to make her happy, powdered ice could do the trick.

When I look at the woman now, I realize that she has changed so much over the years. I can see her grey hair, I can sense her difficulty in getting up quickly due to a bad knee, and I can feel her exhaustion within minutes of any strenuous exercise. But, there are also a few things that have never changed in her at all - the twinkle in her eyes, her sense of humor, and her love that has become more encompassing over the years. She takes care of 11 kittens at home - calls them the funniest names possible (the latest batch of 5 are all named after my cousin sister's and my previous employers- Si'y, Via'is, Ab'z, Hib's and so on), feeds them diligently, and plays with them like they are her own children.

On her last day here, I was sitting quietly next to her, worrying about a million things inside my head. She put her arms around me and said, "Two more months here and you would have shifted to the city, and everything will be new again." Yes, amma, things would be different again in a few more months. I just had to count my blessings and life would be much simpler. Thank you :)

Things I learnt in 2010

• Never try to surprise your pet cat from the behind, if you don't fancy scratch marks on every visible part of your body. Also, do not try to feed two cats at the same time, especially when they are hungry. Both of them cannot tell the difference between cat food and your finger.
• After a particularly emotional and melodramatic 'last' visit to your favorite haunt, when moving cities, do not end up there in a few days time again. Your friend whom your particularly insisted on taking you there for the dreaded 'final' visit will scoff at you. For the rest of your life.
• On your first night in a new, big, bad city, all alone, never try to become over-friendly with a roomie, in an attempt to fill the void. She will take it upon herself to give you company for every single waking minute of your life, even when you want some peace and quiet.
• When moving into a house of your own, do not bugspray a particularly large cockroach with half that bottle. It will turn out to be the 'only' black hairband you have and will have to go to office remotely resembling Medusa.
• Cooking oil poured on a pan still wet with water, can result in a splendid show of oil spurts all over the kitchen. Be prepared to scrub every tile for the next one hour.
• Try not to pass intelligent comments on how older men become desperate for dates, when writing an article on aging baby boomers. Your reviewer is unmarried and your article will promptly be returned to you with a lot of his intelligent remarks.
• When visiting relatives, do not address them with the secret nicknames you keep for them. Some of the names are not very flattering and you will never see the promised filter coffee.
• Do not try to be nice with a seemingly over-friendly Labrador. Yes, it will see you as a potential dinner target and fly at you.
• Never snoop into the chat logs of a very intelligent, good friend of yours. You can never see the friend in the same light. Ever again.

In totality, my year has been a mixed bag of emotions. I love my work and I have made a few hard decisions that I am very proud of. At the same time, there are several occasions where I almost gave up too. I am glad I stuck on and may I find the strength to stick to my guts in the next year too. I hope all of you have a great year ahead and also find the strength to do the most craziest things on the planet in the next year. Happy new year :)

The Poochas :)

Pardon the quality and my lack of photographic skills :P

Poochas ( Mallu tongue for Cats)

The mommy cat

Lowe :)

It has been a while since my dad read the newspaper

Finally here again...

After a brief hiatus, yes I am back to do my bit in adding to the already vast amounts of junk on the Internet. The past two months have been one helluva ride. Finding a new house, getting adjusted to the orange walls, making friends with my neighbor who plops her baby right into my arms claiming that the barely-three-year-old misses the ‘Didi’ already…

Finding a shortcut to my office which is only five minutes away even in snail mode, icing up the lady who comes to clean to arm-twist her into cleaning properly, feeling the breeze softly nudging against the curtains, waking up to a shivery cold morning, clattering my way through in the kitchen to make a hurried breakfast/lunch…though not as fancy as they sound, they are the little drops of happiness I find in an almost solitary existence.

With an extended vacation in my home town coming to an end in a few more hours, now it is time to come back to the Orangeness… :P I know this trip has made changes that can never possibly become alright anymore. I cannot offer anything but a meek apology for all the hurt caused intentionally or unintentionally. I also understand that it wouldn’t change anything but it is the least and the best I can offer before I get buried under the pile of pending work that makes me shudder even when I am only thinking about it.

And another update would be on my cat’s wonderful ability to produce kittens like popcorn. They just keep popping out of her every three months. So the latest addition to our family would be the completely adorable four little kittens that keep meowing the whole place down.

Every morning when they greet me with their big round eyes full of optimism and joy, I remind myself - life is not all that bad after all… :)