Robot? Really??

Just managed to watch Robot, the so called Superstar Rajnikanth masterpiece. If one superstar was not enough, there are hundreds of him towards the end. The movie thrives on this sole principle – an absolute lack of logic. I could even make peace with that. But, the Robot doling out the inevitable ‘Amma sentiment’ dialogue in the climax almost made me wish I had a pair of metal hands that I could use to squash my brains out.

If Issac Asimov had to watch this piece of monstrosity rolled out in the form of a superstar film, he will probably have to rewrite all his laws of ‘robatics’ ( yes, the Robot advises the mother to teach her son ‘robatics’ in the end). Because, Rajni Robot can bash up a bunch of rowdies in a train compartment effortlessly, but also get destroyed with a few swishes of an ordinary pickaxe. Robot Rajni can talk to mosquitoes and make them say sorry to Aishwarya Rai, but becomes blinded if you flash a mirror at him.

And I almost forgot to mention the evil red chip that can make a friendly robot turn into a destructive robot. That was the heights of brilliance, treating a robot like a tape recorder that can play good music and bad music. Aishwarya Rai has become old and should stick to roles that suit her wrinkles. She cannot pass off as a college girl anymore. Period.

Ok, I agree the graphics were definitely classy for an Indian movie. After the likes of Krissh and Hiss, such efforts should definitely be lauded. The ‘Happy Diwali folks’ sequence made me squeal (literally) with joy.

I understand, going to a superstar movie and expecting a sensible string of events is far fetched, but the least you expect is some sense. I have enjoyed the trademark Superstar antics in a lot of his previous movies and I am an unabashed fan of his, but stupidity in the guise of sci-fi is just off-putting. I prefer the simple, hard-working, rags to riches Paalkaran or Padaiyappa to a metal-loving, weirdo scientist and his equally dim-witted Robaatic creation.

Yesterday...

I wake up to the annoying chirp of the birds. Did I say annoying? Make that exasperating. Yes, exasperating chirp of the birds. If only I had a gun. I take out my diary and note the date. It might mean nothing at all in a few years. It could fade into a memory that I would be reminded of occasionally. If only I could travel into the future. If only yesterday hadn’t happened.

Things I learnt in 2010

• Never try to surprise your pet cat from the behind, if you don't fancy scratch marks on every visible part of your body. Also, do not try to feed two cats at the same time, especially when they are hungry. Both of them cannot tell the difference between cat food and your finger.
• After a particularly emotional and melodramatic 'last' visit to your favorite haunt, when moving cities, do not end up there in a few days time again. Your friend whom your particularly insisted on taking you there for the dreaded 'final' visit will scoff at you. For the rest of your life.
• On your first night in a new, big, bad city, all alone, never try to become over-friendly with a roomie, in an attempt to fill the void. She will take it upon herself to give you company for every single waking minute of your life, even when you want some peace and quiet.
• When moving into a house of your own, do not bugspray a particularly large cockroach with half that bottle. It will turn out to be the 'only' black hairband you have and will have to go to office remotely resembling Medusa.
• Cooking oil poured on a pan still wet with water, can result in a splendid show of oil spurts all over the kitchen. Be prepared to scrub every tile for the next one hour.
• Try not to pass intelligent comments on how older men become desperate for dates, when writing an article on aging baby boomers. Your reviewer is unmarried and your article will promptly be returned to you with a lot of his intelligent remarks.
• When visiting relatives, do not address them with the secret nicknames you keep for them. Some of the names are not very flattering and you will never see the promised filter coffee.
• Do not try to be nice with a seemingly over-friendly Labrador. Yes, it will see you as a potential dinner target and fly at you.
• Never snoop into the chat logs of a very intelligent, good friend of yours. You can never see the friend in the same light. Ever again.

In totality, my year has been a mixed bag of emotions. I love my work and I have made a few hard decisions that I am very proud of. At the same time, there are several occasions where I almost gave up too. I am glad I stuck on and may I find the strength to stick to my guts in the next year too. I hope all of you have a great year ahead and also find the strength to do the most craziest things on the planet in the next year. Happy new year :)