Emotions. Desires. Ambition. Expectation. Death.
And when death precedes them all. When you invite death. When you
willingly submit yourself at the altar of everything that ends; how hopeless
would you have felt?
How utterly devoid of hope?
Imagine being locked inside a room. Just a dark room. No windows. No
doors. No beginning and no end in sight. You could have called though. One call
for help.
How resolute did you feel when you hid in the bathroom and drank out of
the bottle? And later when you cried in pain? And much later when your body
started giving up?
And when the doctors tried to puncture holes in your throat to help you
breathe, did you want to fight? Did you regret your decision? Did you think of
your favourite song? Did you think of all the great journeys we have had
together?
Do you remember the time both of us almost got thrown out of the bus for
being raucous? Do you remember the innumerable times you bailed us both out of
trouble? Do you remember our long conversations on the sidewalk?
You, with your long hair and graceful eyes, mindful of the boys staring
at us; yet dismissing them with a callous flick of your head. You were
beautiful even without trying. Have I ever told you that?
You are gone now. Just like that. And I am trying to forget. To forget the
shaky voice that told me you were dead.
But, your credit card bills are due. Your message on my phone still
remains unanswered.
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