Robot? Really??

Just managed to watch Robot, the so called Superstar Rajnikanth masterpiece. If one superstar was not enough, there are hundreds of him towards the end. The movie thrives on this sole principle – an absolute lack of logic. I could even make peace with that. But, the Robot doling out the inevitable ‘Amma sentiment’ dialogue in the climax almost made me wish I had a pair of metal hands that I could use to squash my brains out.

If Issac Asimov had to watch this piece of monstrosity rolled out in the form of a superstar film, he will probably have to rewrite all his laws of ‘robatics’ ( yes, the Robot advises the mother to teach her son ‘robatics’ in the end). Because, Rajni Robot can bash up a bunch of rowdies in a train compartment effortlessly, but also get destroyed with a few swishes of an ordinary pickaxe. Robot Rajni can talk to mosquitoes and make them say sorry to Aishwarya Rai, but becomes blinded if you flash a mirror at him.

And I almost forgot to mention the evil red chip that can make a friendly robot turn into a destructive robot. That was the heights of brilliance, treating a robot like a tape recorder that can play good music and bad music. Aishwarya Rai has become old and should stick to roles that suit her wrinkles. She cannot pass off as a college girl anymore. Period.

Ok, I agree the graphics were definitely classy for an Indian movie. After the likes of Krissh and Hiss, such efforts should definitely be lauded. The ‘Happy Diwali folks’ sequence made me squeal (literally) with joy.

I understand, going to a superstar movie and expecting a sensible string of events is far fetched, but the least you expect is some sense. I have enjoyed the trademark Superstar antics in a lot of his previous movies and I am an unabashed fan of his, but stupidity in the guise of sci-fi is just off-putting. I prefer the simple, hard-working, rags to riches Paalkaran or Padaiyappa to a metal-loving, weirdo scientist and his equally dim-witted Robaatic creation.

Yesterday...

I wake up to the annoying chirp of the birds. Did I say annoying? Make that exasperating. Yes, exasperating chirp of the birds. If only I had a gun. I take out my diary and note the date. It might mean nothing at all in a few years. It could fade into a memory that I would be reminded of occasionally. If only I could travel into the future. If only yesterday hadn’t happened.

Things I learnt in 2010

• Never try to surprise your pet cat from the behind, if you don't fancy scratch marks on every visible part of your body. Also, do not try to feed two cats at the same time, especially when they are hungry. Both of them cannot tell the difference between cat food and your finger.
• After a particularly emotional and melodramatic 'last' visit to your favorite haunt, when moving cities, do not end up there in a few days time again. Your friend whom your particularly insisted on taking you there for the dreaded 'final' visit will scoff at you. For the rest of your life.
• On your first night in a new, big, bad city, all alone, never try to become over-friendly with a roomie, in an attempt to fill the void. She will take it upon herself to give you company for every single waking minute of your life, even when you want some peace and quiet.
• When moving into a house of your own, do not bugspray a particularly large cockroach with half that bottle. It will turn out to be the 'only' black hairband you have and will have to go to office remotely resembling Medusa.
• Cooking oil poured on a pan still wet with water, can result in a splendid show of oil spurts all over the kitchen. Be prepared to scrub every tile for the next one hour.
• Try not to pass intelligent comments on how older men become desperate for dates, when writing an article on aging baby boomers. Your reviewer is unmarried and your article will promptly be returned to you with a lot of his intelligent remarks.
• When visiting relatives, do not address them with the secret nicknames you keep for them. Some of the names are not very flattering and you will never see the promised filter coffee.
• Do not try to be nice with a seemingly over-friendly Labrador. Yes, it will see you as a potential dinner target and fly at you.
• Never snoop into the chat logs of a very intelligent, good friend of yours. You can never see the friend in the same light. Ever again.

In totality, my year has been a mixed bag of emotions. I love my work and I have made a few hard decisions that I am very proud of. At the same time, there are several occasions where I almost gave up too. I am glad I stuck on and may I find the strength to stick to my guts in the next year too. I hope all of you have a great year ahead and also find the strength to do the most craziest things on the planet in the next year. Happy new year :)

The Poochas :)

Pardon the quality and my lack of photographic skills :P

Poochas ( Mallu tongue for Cats)

The mommy cat

Lowe :)

It has been a while since my dad read the newspaper

Update...

This post has been written at least ten times and found its way duly to the dustbin (precisely the Recycle Bin). I just cannot seem to think of anything to write about. Have I become so unimaginative that nothing seems to excite me anymore? Have i become a tired, world-weary cynic? Is this how rock-bottom feels like? Or have i just grown lazy?

The five minute walk to my office has been reduced to a two minute walk. And thanks to my dad, who found a short cut, it is now just one minute. Apart from the lone, old dog that barely glances at me and that too with maximum disinterest, there is not a soul on the road.

My neighbors seem to lead interesting lives though. The kid next door keeps bawling all through the night, and her mom and dad have little arguments that whiff by, across the cooker whistles. A girl who lives on the floor above me has a boyfriend, who tries to smuggle in everyday in broad daylight. He tries to look nonchalant and casual when he climbs the first floor, and then panics and rushes through the other floors to reach her room as quickly as possible.

Then there is a college kid who listens to loud music in the night. So loud that i can hear it even from the other side of the wall. He also lives alone and does not turn off the lights in the night :), which i certainly do find funny because, though he looks macho and tough in the mornings, with gelled hair and pierced ears, the baby in him refuses to switch off the lights and turn off the music in the night. And I derive a certain joy from that :)

So, apart from churning out articles on cats, dogs, old men, and business, the free time i get is spent on staring at neighbors. An occasional splurge at Fabindia, a lunch date with myself at the mall, and frequent visits to the supermarket punctuate the pretty simple, calm, and quiet life I lead here in Bangalore.

Finally here again...

After a brief hiatus, yes I am back to do my bit in adding to the already vast amounts of junk on the Internet. The past two months have been one helluva ride. Finding a new house, getting adjusted to the orange walls, making friends with my neighbor who plops her baby right into my arms claiming that the barely-three-year-old misses the ‘Didi’ already…

Finding a shortcut to my office which is only five minutes away even in snail mode, icing up the lady who comes to clean to arm-twist her into cleaning properly, feeling the breeze softly nudging against the curtains, waking up to a shivery cold morning, clattering my way through in the kitchen to make a hurried breakfast/lunch…though not as fancy as they sound, they are the little drops of happiness I find in an almost solitary existence.

With an extended vacation in my home town coming to an end in a few more hours, now it is time to come back to the Orangeness… :P I know this trip has made changes that can never possibly become alright anymore. I cannot offer anything but a meek apology for all the hurt caused intentionally or unintentionally. I also understand that it wouldn’t change anything but it is the least and the best I can offer before I get buried under the pile of pending work that makes me shudder even when I am only thinking about it.

And another update would be on my cat’s wonderful ability to produce kittens like popcorn. They just keep popping out of her every three months. So the latest addition to our family would be the completely adorable four little kittens that keep meowing the whole place down.

Every morning when they greet me with their big round eyes full of optimism and joy, I remind myself - life is not all that bad after all… :)

Courage...

This girl was easily the most silent one in the PG. As language was a huge barrier, both of us restricted our conversations to various degrees of smiles and nods. Once, during a power cut both of us were pitted in the dark against each other and that slowly got us talking.

She spoke about her Mother who passed away in a freak accident a few years back, her Father who became a little disoriented after that, how he was pressurized into marrying another woman, how her siblings had to discontinue their schooling for two years…

It brought a huge lump in my throat and I asked her if she ever visited home. She told me she doesn’t want to and couldn’t even if she wanted to. My question opened another series of wounds she was healing with her almost tranquil existence.

Her step mother had sexually abused her sibling who then tried to commit suicide. This girl was apparently the only one gutsy enough to go to the police and report the incident. The lady was imprisoned and is still in jail. However, the step-mother’s brothers threatened to harm this girl if she stayed in her hometown. Thus she packed her bags and left the house, never to return again.

Child abuse is the most dreadful form of sexual abuse. It ruins your life or at least leaves an everlasting scar. The trauma and the pain you endure can never possibly be erased completely. That surge of anger, the realization of helplessness, the quiet retreat into solitude… The sibling even now apparently has nightmares and has completely stopped studying.

I couldn’t but help admiring this girl, for the courage she had to stand up to a group of blood thirsty men for her family. The quietest girl amidst us had suddenly become the greatest too.