I voted...

I voted I voted I voted... :)

I voted for the first time in my life!!!
I saw anxious party cadres along the streets encouraging everyone to vote.
I observed burly policemen flashing mean looks inside the polling booths.
I waited under the scorching sun to have the first glimpse of an EVM.
I felt triumphant when I heard the beep of the machine after I voted.
The beep of democracy.
The beep of a bright Indian future.
The beep I was responsible for.

For the first time ever, I am proud of the dirty black mark on my index finger.
Let us make our voice count. Let us vote.

And the winner is...

Elections are a carnival for jokes. And I as a first time voter, take it up as my moral responsibility to encourage our dear leaders who keep the humor alive within all of us. The result of which is a list of awards for all the jawans who continue to tirelessly entertain us, by looking absurd and silly, every single day.

"BJP is a truly secular party" - Advani

Did this saffron brigade leader hear what Varun had to say about Muslims? The frantic waving of hands and his claims of sending all Muslims to Pakistan, successfully earned him the 'Fanaticism bordering on the lines of insanity' award. And Advaniji fiercely defending the party ideologies and praising great leaders of the BJP, even when reporters pointedly questioned him on Varun’s speech wins the ‘Going temporarily deaf when (unmentionable body part) is on fire' award.

"Terrorism and religion conversion are two sides of a coin which will swallow our nation. The Hindus are now waking up against it'"-Pramod Muthalik

Yeah, his sevaks are busy bashing up women in the name of culture protection. Though I don’t see how he is planning on eradicating terrorism and religious conversions by declaring that women have no rights to their share of fun. So unquestionably the ‘I still live because it is illegal to shoot me’ award goes to him.

"In north India, the SP, the RJD and the LJP have dominated the secular space." -Mulayam Singh

These three parties are notorious for vote bank politics in UP and what we call communalism is their secularism. They win the 'Learn the meaning of English words first' award.

“We were defeated in 13 constituencies by design.” – The Ramdosses

This father-son duo largely made unpopular through the unceremonious sacking of the AIIMS head; usually say such incredible things when they feel largely ignored. Their hobbies include criticizing anything that the others (Read: Not PMK) do. And they clinch the ‘Desperate limelight hoggers’ award.

'There was a communication gap, that’s all' - Jayalalitha

Dropped out of a tea party hoisted by Mayawati, Jayalalitha dignifiedly fielded the media glare. Well, communication gaps happen all the time. That explains why the Left and the MDMK parties were missing during the tea party she threw a few days back. ‘I don’t like to be ignored' award goes to her for sure.

MDMK has been eerily silent this year after the embarrassing defection of a few prominent leaders to DMK. The party together wins the ‘We eat our own words’ title. (Another close contender for this award is TR Rajendher of LMDK. He also wins the ' Does anyone except me knows that my party exists? ‘award)

Of course the icing on the cake was Venkaih Naidu's speech that demanded the Prime Minister’s resignation on moral grounds as the UPA had been ‘deserted’ by its allies and the Congress had become a ‘loner’. Does he know there are elections coming up in a few days? He portrayed another streak of brilliance when he declared that Slumdog Millionaire won the Oscar because Congress had successfully kept poverty alive in India. He undoubtedly wins the ' I love making stupid statements’ title.

(Of course, this idea is not original and there are other people (with a superior sense of moral responsibility and brains) who have given out better awards. So suggestions, corrections and additions are always welcome).

Amrika’s only hope

Okay, so Obama is the 44th president in the US of A. Point taken. What his presidency would mean to India and the usual interpretation, speculation, analysis, in other words pretty boring stuff would be reserved for a later post.

What really caught my attention yesterday was his acceptance speech. Generally all acceptance speeches comprise of vague idealistic promises that are swept promptly under the carpet as soon as the leader assumes office. In India, it is not even right to call them acceptance speeches. They are more aptly called the ‘in-your-face-you-losers’ speeches. Or better still ‘i-won-yay-you-lose-boo’ speeches.

The 15 minute monologue efficiently covered his gratitude, his promises, his hopes and his greatest aspiration of resurrecting the American dream. Though in few places it sounded a wee-bit too optimistic, it can be forgiven as it was Obama’s big day too.

Forget the speech, what struck me the most was the arena thronging with supporters. It was huge with absolutely no decorations and no blown-up cut outs of Obama’s face. There was a long blue ramp that even looked royal. There were no cracker-bursting party workers, no bodyguards and definitely no raucous creating crowd.

This reminded me of the victory speeches of our dear leaders. The loud guttural utterances of hazy promises, read from a paper that the leader himself would have seen for the first time would be amplified by a hundred speakers and determined to blow your ear drums off. Also surrounding the leader would be beefy looking bodyguards with guns and staid expressions to match the grimness of the guns. The leader himself would be clothed in ten different shawls and a huge garland that would look more dignified if it were left at the flower shop itself.

Another notable speech was McCain’s. The very fact that he took defeat (not that he had too much of choice) in a very dignified manner itself was very impressive. Whereas here, it would have meant two days of hunger strikes and threats of how the government would not even stand for a year from the losing party.

All said and done, Obama now shoulders the responsibility of change he promised to make. Only time can tell whether he would join scores of other leaders who only gave hopes and pushed the wretched people into more darkness or if he would actually become the beacon light for the Americans and rebuild the hope the rest of the world had on America, once upon a time.

Whats wrong with us????????

Obama Pooja :)

Ah! Finally..Something funnier than dasavatharam

Name of the party: Praja Rajyam (Ok wait, is that the name of the founder's next movie also??)

Founder: Chiranjeevi (Oops!, Mega Star Chiranjeevi)

Ideology: Fight political corruption “at the top” (On top of what?!)

Agenda:Socialism and empowerment of the poor and downtrodden (If you really wanna empower them; then start by not calling them downtrodden)

Launch: Avilala Tank grounds, Tirupati with thronging followers who arrived in 18 special trains. (At the cost of throwing normal life out of gear)

Flag:White and Green hoisted by a physically challenged youth. (Am I in a telegu movie theater?)

Will support: The telegana (Wow! Now what happened to the socialism promise?)

More Promises:

1. A scientific assessment of categorization of the Scheduled Castes (Of course, another Sachar committee report)

2. Consult intellectuals before arriving at a decision. (Do you really want a comment here?)

Silver lining:Favor of industrialization

Clichés:

“I am your servant and not your leader.” (You can start by getting off the dais)

“My parents looked after me for 22 years, but you have been carrying me for 30 years on your shoulders” (30 years were a punishment enough. Did we have a choice??)

Verdict:Shows all signs of becoming a political joke.

Moral: Will actors ever learn?

Mush steps down.

Musharaff resigns…Well, that was expected. There cannot be any more disgrace that can be brought to the President's office if the President himself is threatened with impeachment. Clearly it is also very embarrassing to stay in an office where people have already asked you to pack your bags.

But did anybody even try to make this resignation dignified?

Mushy himself said, "I announce my decision to step down from the office of the President for the sake of the country". Huh???

“This is not the time for individual bravado. This is the time for serious reflection. Whether I win or lose, the nation will lose in every way. It will be a blow to the dignity of the nation and to the office of the President,”

Well Mr. President, you should thought of ‘serious internal instability’ and ‘dignity’ when you decided to unceremoniously kick the Chief Justice out of the office, and ruthlessly amending the Constitution of Pakistan which only resulted in riots and bloodshed all over the country.

How about the others? PPP and PML (N) burst crackers. They also declared his exit as a “triumph for democracy".
The concept of a coalition government itself defeats the purpose of democracy. It shows that the people do not support the leading parties. And the parties without enough support have to join hands with other parties with completely different ideologies to form a government. Sometimes parties which are allies at the Center are opposition at the state. How appalling is that? And to think of such people talking about democracy is repulsive.

Our Indian leaders surprisingly shut up. BJP and Congress alike said that his resignation was an ‘internal matter’ of Pakistan and they wouldn’t want to comment. Now that’s what I call good diplomacy. On second thoughts it could also mean they are too scared of Mushy even when he is powerless.

Way to go! So who is the butt of all these jokes finally? The common man of course! Also dying a slow rotten death at the hands of these hopeless fundamentalists are the brass tacks of an institution called ‘Democracy’.